Thursday, June 14, 2007

An Iowa Name Says it All ... Butt Officer


What is in a name? A rose by any other name would still smell the same, or would it? Sometimes your name shapes your life. At least for one woman it has. In Marshalltown Iowa, police have accused a woman named Suzanne Marie Butts for stealing toilet paper from an Iowa courthouse. "She's facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Chief Lon Walker said. The charges have been confirmed by KCCI-TV. Workers had allegedly noticed that rolls of toilet paper began disappearing from the Marshall County Courthouse faster than usual. An employee saw Butts, age 38, taking three rolls of tissue from a storage closet. Butts insisted it was the first time. But she declined to comment further on advice of counsel. Butts could face substantial jail time because she has prior theft convictions. Butts did not work at the court house; however she may claim that the legal system is so used to the crap that a couple of rolls of toilet paper would not be missed.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Blond Bombshell said...

Loved the story. The cartoon brightened my day. Thanks for your blog. It lets me know what is going on and still makes me chuckle.

Shell

Ms. Calabaza said...

Ms. Butts must have been pretty needy. Toilet paper in most courthouses are that one-ply sandpaper quality . . .

Anonymous said...

this lady is in deep sh*t

Anonymous said...

California Surfer Dude said...

So, Ms Butts goes in for an interview. Hey look, tissue wiping is all I am trained for butt I am willing to start at the bottom.

Surfer Dude

Anonymous said...

Sounds like she's butt heads with the legal system one too many times.

Viper said...

Once again, the readers fail to see the large nature of Butt's problem. She is doing a public service by reducing harmful pollution in the county by wiping away a potential pollutant.

Anonymous said...

you all make me giggle.



Bobbie

Anonymous said...

Sure, thats why Butts exists, for sh*ts and giggles

Anonymous said...

From a legal standpoint, I think the prosecution is going to wipe her butt if she tries to testify on her own behalf.

Anonymous said...

Well, if she stole toilet paper i gues she must have had a big butt
because we kneed to know how many butts Mrs. Butts was wiping.

Brooklyn

Anonymous said...

As a criminal, she was assinie!

Scott

Larry said...

Still one of the funniest stories on the net. Every time I ask for a reason why, I just hear: But, But, Butt...

Sally said...

Let's put this story "behind" us all.



Sally