Thursday, February 14, 2008

Jesus Was The First Surfer and Horses Are Catholic ~by Surfer Dude














Legal Pub has updated the 6-19-07 Pony Tail Bandit article to document the capture of Morgan Michelle Hoke in Thailand. The photo above is at the imigration office after her captured in Thailand. Hoke is believed to be the Pony Tail Bandit. LINK Her newly wed husband is also a suspected accomplice. Thanks Ms. Calabaza for the scoop.
Update 6-19-08: Morgan Michell Hoke had good news recently.
The so-called “Ponytail Bandit” had one of the cases against her dismissed in California last month. Morgan Hoke is accused of a string of bank robberies in the Austin area, California and Washington state. A judge in Los Angeles dismissed the case against her there. She is expected to be tried in federal court in Sacramento later this year.


Today; however, we are blessed with a guest story by California Surfer Dude. Thanks Surfer Dude for sharing your enlightenment:
Ian Coburn writes God is A Woman. But I tell you that Jesus was the first surfer because he walked on water and horse are CATHOLICs.


One day at the track while playing the ponies, I noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. That horse, who was a very long shot, won the race. Before the next race, I saw the old priest step onto the track and bless another horse in the 5th race. The blessed horse again won despite being a long shot. In the 6th race, I bet big on the horse blessed by the priest. The horse won and I collected a handsome purse.

The priest kept blessing horses and I kept winning. Understand, for a surfer dude, I now had some serious cash. I withdrew every cent I owned from the ATM, took all my loot and waited for the priest to give his blessing before the last race. True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. In fact, I saw the priest bless the old nag’s eyes, ears, and hooves. I bet everything on the old nag who was a 1000 to 1 to win. Imagine my dismay when the old nag come in dead last.

My first instinct was to confront the priest, “Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings - all of it!"

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy said, "Son," he said, "That's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites."

From this experience, I learned that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. I also learned that I wish I would have gone to a Catholic school as a kid. If I had, I would be surfing in Hawaii every day getting just a little closer to Jesus on every wave.

Surfer Dude

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Leave it to Surfer Dude to lighten up our Thursday morning.


Shell

Anonymous said...

Funny!

Anonymous said...

Lets hope Morgan is not the guilt one!

Anonymous said...

Why try to hid in Thailand? Morgan does not even look like the pony tail bandit to me.

Anonymous said...

Any way to bring your june pony tail bandit story up to the first page?

Did You Stop to Think? said...

Also, His name is properly pronounced "Hey-Zeus" and yes, he has two mothers... that's why we have the word mom and mother, because he had to differentiate...

Anonymous said...

How about Ma!

Ms Calabaza said...

Good one dude!
We needed some humor today. Hey-Zeus would be proud.

Viper said...

Surfer Dude, If half the world had your wit and your humor, we would be a smarter, better, kinder world.

Anonymous said...

How can such a good, funny story be sandwiched between two tragedies?

Legal Pub said...

It was a great diversion~

Anonymous said...

Surfer Dude, the world is a better place because of you!


Jojo

Carolgliv said...

Any way to bring your june pony tail bandit story up to the first page?