Does selecting a spouse such as Pam Smart LINK or
Erin Mclean LINK involve bad luck or a flaw in the selection process? As a divorce lawyer, I am often asked by folks, "How do I avoid this mistake in the future?" My response is just for men. Women, stop reading. Or go read one of my divorce pieces
LINK. Ten Laws of Being a Man by
Paul Dobranski argues that a man 's use of science for selecting his mate is essential for a successful relationship. Dobranski writes:
"(W)hat you give up as a man in exchange for being with only ONE woman is immense. It MUST be a win/win deal, and while your part of that deal is to be loyal, to not cheat, and to share your resources, HER part of the deal is that she MUST be in line with, admire, and support your specific mission in life as a man. She must make sacrifices too, many of which involve surrendering some of her own desires for the sake of you reaching your GOALS in your mission. This MUST be the deal you strike with a woman if she is to be your ONLY woman. There is no other way to do this. You will not survive as a man and not survive in any marriage if this is not the case. I have seen thousands of couples in therapy. I assure you that there was ONE core feature in all failed couples. Sometimes the man would cheat, sometimes the woman, sometimes there were family problems, or abuse, and sometimes there was high drama. Yet behind and under EVERY failed couple, there was a situation where either the man didn’t know his mission in life, or the woman did not understand or support it. All kinds of voluntary and wrongful acts sprang from there, but this was what was underneath. "
In sum, Dobranski advocates that in order for a relationship to be successful, a man
must understand his life's mission and a woman must passionately support the man's mission. Dobranski also talks about selecting a mate with the right personality type. According to Dobranski,
"(t)here is only one condition in which a relationship can ADD value to your life and your mission rather than being a second or third job, and that is one in which you have a woman who is OPPOSITE from you in personality." Dobranski explains that with opposite personality types, there is less competition for the best career, public status or power. Spouses thus can be more supportive and less combative. In this fashion, one spouse can supplement and bolster the other in areas they are lacking. How can you tell if a relationship is right? "Relationships work the opposite way from how work does. If it's 'right', then it's EASY," according to Dobranski.
Consequently, when marriage counselors or families tell you how a relationship is hard work, Dobranski argues that means the relationship is wrong. Find someone who is opposite of you and who supports your life mission. Otherwise, heartache, divorce, and perhaps even tragic crime such as involved Pam Smart or Erin McLean.
Legal Pub Editor note: Viper articles can be found at Vicious Divorce: LINK
Posts
44 comments:
We are truly lucky to have a column today from Viper who took some time off from a busy divorce practice to give men some advice. Sexist advice? Arguably so. Can't wait to hear from Shell and Bertha!
Opposites are the best mates. Ok, why should women not seek a man who will passionately support her mission? Why should men be doing the choosing?
Shell
My wife has always supported my work and my goals. We have been together over 50 years. It works. Shell, it is ok for a woman to wear the pants, it just is not compatible for a woman to wear the pants in a relationship with a man. (Unless the man is a little light in the loafers, and then of course someone has to step up and be the leader.)
Ralph
My pleasure to write the article Legal Pub. Maybe if men do a better job in selecting mates then there will be less work for vicious divorce lawyers like me.
From a Christian view point, the Bible provides that the man should be the leader of the household. That being said, God's love should select a mate, not science in my view.
J.J.
Dr. Paul Dobranski has also written a book "How We Fall in Love."
I am interested in Ian Coburn's comments on Dobranski's ideas.
Surfer Dudes Rules for Men are even better:
Beware of bargains in life preservers, parachutes and heart transplants.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, if you aren't home by then you're in trouble.
Despite what you read in the papers, people don't usually die in alphabetical order.
Never hire an electrician with no eyebrows.
Be suspicious if you discover that your auto mechanic has clean fingernails.
If lightning strikes, make sure that you're walking next to a tall person.
Never argue with your wife if she is tired or rested.
Never buy Q-tips at the Nearly New Shop.
A key chain is a devise that allows you to lose several keys all at
once rather than one here and one there.
If you want to forget your troubles wear tight shoes.
If you want your shoes to last longer, take bigger steps.
Never buy a portable TV on the sidewalk from a man who is out of breath.
Never drop your contact lens during tap dancing class.
Never entrust your life to a surgeon who has more than two Band-Aids on his fingers.
Never get a tattoo during an earthquake.
Never get into a fight with an ugly person, they have nothing to lose.
The perfect gift for the man who has everything is a burglar alarm.
The nice thing about wearing boots is that your socks don't have to match.
FINALLY:
The first rule of administering CPR is to make sure that the victim hasn't been chewing tobacco.
Surfer Dude
if opposites attract then I must have an awesome marriage.
Surfer Dude:
those were great!
On a serious note, Viper your advice is good common sense (even though I wasn't supposed to read it). I would change one thing and that is that I agree with Shell; let's make it both people should have the same mission. As long as one is dominant and the other agrees to follow, who cares the gender? I also think there HAS to be chemistry (lust, whatever)
and with time it must develop to love. . . just my two cents.
I thought women weren't supposed to read this!? ;) Here's what I know about marriage:
1) I haven't met the right person yet, so I haven't gotten married. I may never meet the right person, so I may never get married. I.e. Don't get married to have kids or just so you're not alone (settle). A lot of people do and guess what? Yup.
2) Discuss sex, money and children before getting married. This is straight out of "God" and it's something I've been told by many married couples, particularly those who overlooked having this discussion.
Sex - Will it change? How? Be the same? More or less frequent? Of course, this will alter and have to be brought up throughout the marriage.
Money - Joint account? Any kept separate? Will? How will it all be set up? How will you make big purchase decisions? How much should you save? How much is too much to have on credit cards?
Children - This is the biggest. It's not "How many?" and "When?" and "Do we want?" Couples cover all that. It's "What time should they go to bed at different ages?" "How should they be disciplined?" "What kind of TV can they watch? How long per day?" This is the most overlooked and most lethal to a marriage w/kids. Why? Kids are living entities w/their own agendas and they will go after them as they work to learn about boundaries, life, and interpersonal interaction. Recently having my sisters 3 kids--ages 2,5,11--for nearly 3 weeks really illustrated this for me more than ever. Each child has their own agenda, problems, and concerns, not to mention personality. If the parents are on different pages, the kids won't know what's going on; they won't have any direction and they will go after what gives them the most pleasure, pitting parent against parent. For example, the two-year-old liked to tell everyone to "Shut up!" At my sister's house, my sister tries to deal w/it but her boyfriend shrugs it off. The result? My sister has no energy to fight it and it is tolerated.
Well, the poor kid was in for a real shock w/me... I spent the first day relentlessly carrying her back to her room after a timeout for telling people to "shut up!" She screamed. She cried. She threw herself onto the floor. In short, we had a battle of wills. In the end, though, she realized that telling people to "shut up" was no longer getting her what made her feel good. By day two, I just looked at her when she said it and she immediately apologized to whom she said it. By day three, she stopped telling people to shut up. It was tiring but hey, that's what you get when you have or take in tykes.
Trust me, discuss kids.
3) Don't try to make love mathematical. It's not. It's not an algebra problem; it never will be. Sometimes opposites attract. Sometimes they don't. Mostly, what I see w/marriages that are going well is this:
Opposites - are married but not in the kind of marriage I want. It's less of a partnership and more of a relationship of two people living together. They do their own things, don't seem to spend much time together, and it works. Perhaps they only see each other in the evenings. Even on the weekends they spend lots of time apart. This works for them. Cool.
When opposites spend a lot of time with each other, the marriage becomes a train wreck. When one suddenly wants to spend more time or change the relationship setup, it becomes a train wreck.
Similar - This is for me. They do a lot together because they have a lot of common interests. They still have their own things, but they understand each other. How can I spend all day Saturday on the beach playing volleyball? No need to explain, even if they're not there, the women I date totally understand. My volleyball die-hard friend who got married to his opposite and had a kid? Well, he's no longer on the beach. He already has become resentful toward his spouse, in less than a year. She's an opposite who wants to spend lots of time together. Trouble...
The guy whose wife is similar? Hey, she doesn't like volleyball but she's similar in that she has other hobbies she's into. He comes down to the beach once a week to play all summer long. Often, she comes down, too, with their two kids and they make a day of it. They are spending time together. Of course, he attends some of her hobbies with the kids, too. They are similar and thus understand the other person better than opposites, who tend to be more of a "stay out of their way, don't ask, don't tell-"mind set, which works as long as one doesn't want things to change.
4) Marriage is a 50/50 compromise... yeah, bullshit! Everyone I know who's married says marriage is a 100/100 compromise. Those who can't accept or understand the other person and expect them to change 50% of themself to compromise are in trouble. Instead, each needs to be willing to accept the other 100% w/out expecting changes. This is why I get irritated w/all those stupid women self-help dating books w/titles like "How to change your man" or "How to make him the man to marry" or... The message is "get him to marry you, then change him after you’re married." My message? Marry the guy you want to begin with. Dah!
5) Don't ignore red flags. This is the biggest problem. Someone does x, y, z and because you want them to be the way you envision them, you make it out to be w or give them the excuse v. I have a friend in a horrible marriage because when he was dating he ignored all the red flags. He was very outgoing, always going out. She wasn't and never wanted to go out. Opposites. No prob as long as they both accept that. But she didn't. She had him get a pager (back before cells) and kept tabs on him, calling him all the time. "Where are you? When are you coming home?" yada yada yada. As soon as they got married, she bitched about him going out until he finally stopped. Now, he hardly goes out. Why is he in this boat? Because he totally ignored the red flag when they were dating. It would have been fine if she never bugged him when he was out but that wasn't the case. I mean, she made him get a beeper to bug him all the time and keep tabs on him! Come on, you can't see trouble on the horizon?
Let me illustrate w/my sisters. (They stopped buying me birthday gifts last year, so I'm no longer at risk of losing good birthday gifts from them and can speak openly...)
My older sister dates and has two kids with a guy who is her opposite. They are opposites who are always together. The result? Lots of fights, arguments, resentment and suffering children. Opposites need to be apart so they can be opposites. The problem is that opposites have a tough time w/the 100/100 compromise; they expect 50/50 compromises. When their together, this can lead to trouble; however, if they stay out of each other's way, this functions very well. My uncle, for example, is a rigid man w/rules and lots of discipline. His wife is quiet and reserved and obedient. Till this day he orders for her when they go out to eat. He goes to work all day, she does her thing at home. On the weekends, they do a few things together but then spend a lot of time apart, as he goes golfing, etc. Not the relationship I'd want to be in but again, it works for them. (Another problem w/self-help books is the whole "what doesn't work for me is wrong-“concept. If I was like most advice columnists and authors, I would rip this kind of relationship apart because I don't like it and it wouldn't work for me. Guess what? I'm not in the f'ing relationship. So why should I tell other people not to be in it? That's not advice; it's manipulation.) Another key to their success, they saw and were okay w/the red flags. My uncle ordered food for my aunt when they were dating. She didn't expect that to change suddenly when they got married. When my uncle dated a woman who didn't like him ordering her food, he stopped dating her. To him, that's a red flag. Or she stopped dating him because to her, he ordering for her was a red flag. People, I'm telling you, you can't ignore red flags! (i.e. peoples' behavior patterns).
My younger sister is married to a guy she dated for years. They have two kids, too. They do lots together. They go to Disney World all the time (live in Orlando). They are both outgoing and have friends or sitters watch their kids so they can hit the town or parties at friends. It's 100/100. A few weeks ago, my brother-in-law could see my sister was burnt out w/the kids. They had been behaving rambunctious all week and she is a stay at home mom. He had plans to go golfing on Saturday but he could see she was spent. She didn't get on his case about it; she knew he had been planning the golf outing for weeks. It would be her and the kids for the whole day. That's her giving 100.
Well, he cancelled his golf outing, declaring to her that he wanted to spend some time with the kids. He wanted to just have some daddy-kid time w/out mom. He took the kids to Disney World for the day, then to dinner. My sister got to spend the day alone, relax and re-energize. That's him giving 100.
See? It's 100/100. Opposites who stay apart a lot can work around that; similars who spend a lot of time together can work w/that. Everyone else? They're f$#@d atr some point, which is totally fine. Viper has to make a living somehow!
Good post, Viper and Legal; thanks for the idea for my column tomorrow or next week.
Just checked out the good Doctor's site. Spends a lot of time and takes a lot of space not saying anything. This has become pretty typical of a lot of these sites on the Internet. It's one long "You need to know this stuff, this mystery will be solved for you, you can have whatever you want, you..."
But nothing is really said. I noticed a variety of items for sale--audio, etc. Get the ebook, he gets your email, and then you need to buy the next thing. Very salesy.
I haven't read the ebook and I probably won't, so it would be unfair of me to comment on it, of course. I will comment that what I did read on his site seems to lack any account for the woman's opinion at all. Ah, that's just a small oversight... It sounds kind of like the women are just on a shelf, you pick the one you like and then head to the register.
Also, Viper's quote indicates that the Dr seems to think all men know what direction they want to go in as a man and a woman's job is to support the man; that's part of her "agreement." I agree w/Viper and the Dr. that choosing well is important but I think the Dr. and I probably very much disagree on how to choose and what choosing well means. The woman described in the quote sounds more like a wench than a woman.
Personally, I'd love to be a stay at home dad. My father was rarely around growing up (parents split when I was 3) and then was rarely around after they got divorce (me age 6). I love being around my nephews and nieces and helping them grow, learn, and development. What would the Dr. say about that?
Bottom-line, it doesn't sound like actual advice and certainly not good advice. It sounds like the manipulation tactic I mentioned in my prior post--"this is what I think, this is the ONLY way it will work and you must accept it or you'll never be happy. Anything else is wrong."
Don't there's much in my prior post that the Dr. would agree w/, which, from what I can see, is a very good thing.
Want to date, want to have fun, want to enjoy it, want to have a good marriage? Stay away from anything that is based on the concept of manipulation. It will work is some situations and will only get you so far.
Ian Coburn, you rock! I loved God is a Woman and even more so love your comments.
Jill
Dobranski is not saying that you should have nothing in common with your mate. What he is saying is that you need to select your opposite personality type. If you are aggressive and need to be right all the time, a similar personality type will lead to a lot of fighting.
Chances are if you are having to work at your relationship, you are with a similar personality type and not an opposite.
For example, you may both like Volleyball but one of you has to be the coach. In order to be compatible, the other needs to be the type that does not mind authority figures.
Cecilia
I agree,Cecilia. Opposite personalities should attract. My fiance and I have opposite personalities; however, we enjoy many of the same activities: running, plays, sports,etc.... I support his law practice, which is extemely time consuming; however, he supports my teaching career, which isn't as demanding. One team can't have 2 head coaches. I think there are a lot of good facts and information on this page. Good Article!!!
Good column and great posts. I’m inline with J.J. here, but the rest all have good advice and points.
Although is does not have to be the women who occupies the nurturing and supporting role…it needs to be somebody. There has to be accountability for the familie’s tasks and needs…and if you don’t talk about how these will be done and who’ll do them, you’re toast!
Somebody has to be the “final authority” in the family. Conversation will help determine who that’s going to be, and I’d recommend deciding before such authority is needed! Democracies are great, and compromise is absolutely needed, but at the end of the day there are occasions where conclusive decisions for the family are needed and analysis paralysis or deadlock aren’t going to work. Figure out who’s the head of the family before you get married!
I met a wonderful woman who wanted that traditional “50s” marriage (doesn’t work for everybody, I get that, but it works for us). She wanted kids…maybe a job later…but kids first and foremost. She wanted a home…a safe, stable home with a steady and dependable provider. Money was a consideration (it always is) but a rich salesman today and an unemployed, laid-off guy living off his savings tomorrow was not her idea of “solid guy”. Health benefits were important as lack thereof can really hurt kids and families. Having a pension later in life is nice. She wanted somebody she could depend on. A solid, life-long, thick, good-looking, smart, well-muscled, well-educated man. Good luck girl!
In walks me, sexy as hell (really I am). I wanted a woman. Woman good. Ugh! Had to have long hair. No long hair, no time of day! Ugh! Had to look like woman. Ugh! Nice ass, thick runner’s legs, small waist, submissive smile, etc…Ugh! Scratch!
Oh, and the other things. I don’t want some nice looking girl from an ill-mannered family. You better be “well mannered and well bred” if you want to talk to me about being with me. Are your father and mother still together? Do they value marriage? Are they properly educated and did they properly educate you? Is your family estate bereft of transferable resources such that you’re after my family trust? What are you about? OK, fine.
I see want you want. Fair enough. I got all that and more. But I’m not going to be responsible for providing for a family I can’t run. I’ve got to feed you, my kids, pay all the bills, fight the fires and the wolves, and I’ve got no final authority to deal with my families problems? Not! I’ll consider marriage, but here’s the deal…We’ve got a partnership, a 50/50 deal…we take care of each other. But in the rare and unlikely event of REAL IMPORTANT matters, it’s 51/49 and I’m the 51. Agreed?
There’ll be no deadlock in my family. If we can’t decide, and I then decide that Wisconsin is better than Alabama, we’re not going to argue about it forever. There will be times when I lead and you follow. Agreed?
So she runs the house and the family. She’s responsible for 90% of the day-to-day tasks. Paying the bills, shopping, kids, family, MY DINNER (that’s important), etc. If it’s inside the four corner posts of our enclosed cartilage, it’s her responsibility unless she asks for my help (fixing the house, cars, shooting rattlesnakes, burying intruders, (just kidding, I’ll call the medical examiner) etc.)
I keep the outside world off her. If it’s outside to four corner posts, it’s mine. Earning the family money, making sure the fence is intact, keeping the cars working, etc.
I gave up day to day control to get veto power. She gave up veto power to get day to day control. It works for us. Not saying it has to work for others.
All I’m saying is…better figure out what you want and how the other person fits into it and talk about it before getting married. So many wait until after marriage to try and figure it out.
STUPID MOVE.
L.S.
I hated to put up a new article today since Viper's was still generating so much attention. What fantastic comments and opinions.
Lee, opposite in N.C., Ralph and J.J. all seem to be on a similar page.
Shell, Ms. Calabaza and to some extent Ian Coburn are on another.
And Surfer Dude, you are just out there. Your brilliance is way a head of your time!
Lee, you are living the dream...
literally the night mare of free liberated women all over the world.
Do you let your wife vote?
Do you drive an old car, grease your hair back and roll up a pack of cigarettes in your shirt sleeve?
Bertha
Lee, I am starting to really see your potential. A household can only have one master. Under God's laws, that is the man.
Now if I can just get you to see the power of reform and rehabilitation...
J.J.
I don’t see how I’m a nightmare, I’m just me.
And yes my wife votes. She’s smart as a whip, college educated...her father is a surgical doctor and her mother a top notch nurse. She is an most intellectually capable person who takes point in most family matters.
She decided for herself (that’s her decision not mine) long before she met me that all this “you can have it all girl” was either a lie or just to much damn effort for to little reward. She did not want her kids being raised by other people as she chased a corporate position and came home to a dirty house to tired to love her family.
She sees the 9 to5 as working to pay for the car to take you to work, so you can buy the clothes to wear to work, and pay the child care to take care of your kid, and then pay for the remedial teaching your kid needs because your to busy at work or to tired to do it, as your kid picks up social values, language, and mannerisms from others and the TV, etc That’s one of the great things about our country…the right to chose. And she did. She wanted to be a child-focused mother. And she wanted a man who wanted that too. Thus, she chose me.
Perhaps I’m reading it wrong, but you can’t be criticizing me because SHE decided that she wanted a man devoted to her so she could devote herself to her family and not the 9 to 5?
And my wife is as liberated as they come. She chose not to have society dictate to her what her life must be. She chose home and hearth over “new, material stuff and job”. She believes that God made her to be a mother. That’s what she wanted. And that’s what her liberated self chose and got.
I contend that our society would be much better served if we had more men who believed their solemn duty was to love and provide for their families and more women who wanted their children and families to be the center of their lives…not on the peripheries.
BTW, cloaked argumentum ad hominem statements don’t add much to the discussions.
L.S.
Now I definitely agree with L.S.
J.J.
L.S. is a little too controlling for my tastes, but maybe he is perfect for his wife...
Ginger
Fascinating posts.
On the 'must be opposites' viewpoint - maybe, maybe not. If they are opposite ends of a pole, the fulcrum upon which they rest had better be Respect. Someone wrote 'if one party always has to be right, marrying someone similar will lead to constant fights.' So that means an opposite person will have to accept always being wrong?! How about - if you always have to be right, you should mature a little more before considering marriage.
Awesome posts about kids and consistency. Problem is, discussing it before marriage (and before kids) is all theoretical. Having kids is such a transformative experience, and it changes people in unforseen ways. SO many women plan to go back to work when the baby is 8/12 weeks old. Once they birth and meet this most amazing baby, they fall in love with it. And their hearts break at the thought of leaving it every day. Time to step back and take another look at Life Goals.
It's endlessly interesting that so many people have found so many ways to create marriage and family.
(Surfer Dude - thanks for the the laughs!)
Just remembering ...
My father used to tell my brother to look at his future mother-in-law, because that's who his fiance would become in 20 years. And he told me to study my future father-in-law, because that was who my intended would become in 20 years.
He may well have been on to something, there.
Colleency, Excellent! Post of the week. I especially like the mother in law father in law role models.
It is often said that we become our parents. Definitely true in my case.
Again, great contribution.
Shell, a reason that women withhold sex is to punish their lover. Sex is generally more important to men then women. If the man is not caring enough, not supportive enough or does not satisfy the woman's emotional needs, the woman feels justified in withholding sexual gratification.
Pavlov's dogs. Wrong action by man nets punishment by woman. Either tow the line or go take cold showers.
This is a distillation of many years experience in listening to couples going through divorce.
I with held sex from my husband and he had an affair with my best friend! I learned by lesson, never again will I underestimate the power of the male sex drive.
Jan
With holding sex from a man is the stupid thing a woman can do. It may have worked for granny, but in todays age it is just a license to get some on the side.
Terri
Speaking of with holding sex, wonder if that is why Gov. Spitzer strayed?
I just have stumbled upon this discussion now and I want to thank you all for your contributions!
This was an excellent read indeed.
For me, L.S. really lives my dream. I simply haven't met a woman like his yet. In my experience (I am living in Switzerland, Europe) today's women are so much concerned about their financial independence that they are essentially married to their jobs.
And I am actually tired of living with a woman who's working every day all day long and when I come home from my own work she still isn't at home and when she returns she is as tired as I am.
What kind of life is that? I would even be willing to stay at home if she'd earn more money than I do. But this was not the case yet...
Concerning Dr. Paul and his theory about opposites I think that it is too simple and too optimistic. A good marriage ought to the EASY? Well, apart from L.S. in this thread I don't know any.
In my experience a woman usually costs me much more energy, time and resources than I am getting in return. Supporting me in my own "mission in life"? Haha, good joke. I was living with a woman for 9 years (6 years of it we were married) and she was actually passionate about my own goals in life. And she thought she's supporting me. But she also had her own job - and in the end, her own job was always more important than anything else... And since she is a doctor she was essentially working - and sleeping. We couldn't go out for a WE for instance or do something with friends. Let alone sex. So we divorced in the end - despite of still loving each other...
That is only one example of my experiences.
I could go on now with my hot latina woman I am with now, which is deeply in debts and therefore works like hell all the time, and so on and so on...
But better I wish you all good luck in finding the right partner for yourself.
Salvius
Salvius, welcome. Many divergent views on this site which makes it special. Sounds like Dr. Paul would likely say that if the relationship is not easy, you have not found the right one yet. L.S. does appear to be one of the lucky ones.
Now, some of the guys might want to hear about the current "hot" woman that you are with, but that is probably best for another thread.
You may want to browse the archives and read Blond Bombshells Why Women Stop Having Sex.
Come on, be a man!
Real men scratch, beltch and they don't whine about what women may want in a man.
If a woman is not interested or loses interest in you, it is over. Game Over. Deal with it and move on!
Dobranski is on the right track.
Kevin
Examples of real men?
Hulk Hogan.
Brad Pitt
Drew Brees
Paul D. is a real man!
Married men have been getting some on the side dating back as far as as 2,000 years. The saying is: Prostitution is the oldest profession.There's a reason behind that.........(ie marriage)
Mini
Paul D. is a rock of guidance in turmoil times.
For a married couple, ‘working at their relationship involves spending time together, communicating effectively, being open, and sharing their whole lives with one another.
So it is with our relationship with God. Only thing is, God does a lot more listening and a heck of a lot less complaining then a spouse.
Jimbo
Blond Bombshell, men do the choosing because we do approaching and chasing.
We might as well go after something we like.
You are also free to do what you feel is good for you, ie find the kind of man you feel comfortable with.
Ian Coburn if you want stay at home with your kids or be a stay at homw husband/dad then maybe that's your mission. To be honest if it is, I hope your woman supports it because most women in this society will not! :)
Blond Bombshell you rock! I will be your Hollywood Boo any day of the year!
Pete
Apparently it has become sexist to acknowledge biological differences between sexes.
Viva la difference! No one expects men and women to be completely the same...
I kinda like the fact that men and women differ...
Paul still gives great rules to live by!
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