Does selecting a spouse such as Pam Smart LINK or Erin Mclean LINK involve bad luck or a flaw in the selection process? As a divorce lawyer, I am often asked by folks, "How do I avoid this mistake in the future?" My response is just for men. Women, stop reading. Or go read one of my divorce pieces LINK. Ten Laws of Being a Man by Paul Dobranski argues that a man 's use of science for selecting his mate is essential for a successful relationship. Dobranski writes:
"(W)hat you give up as a man in exchange for being with only
In sum, Dobranski advocates that in order for a relationship to be successful, a man must understand his life's mission and a woman must passionately support the man's mission. Dobranski also talks about selecting a mate with the right personality type. According to Dobranski, "(t)here is only one condition in which a relationship can ADD value to your life and your mission rather than being a second or third job, and that is one in which you have a woman who is OPPOSITE from you in personality."
Dobranski explains that with opposite personality types, there is less competition for the best career, public status or power. Spouses thus can be more supportive and less combative. In this fashion, one spouse can supplement and bolster the other in areas they are lacking. How can you tell if a relationship is right? "Relationships work the opposite way from how work does. If it's 'right', then it's EASY," according to Dobranski.
Consequently, when marriage counselors or families tell you how a relationship is hard work, Dobranski argues that means the relationship is wrong. Find someone who is opposite of you and who supports your life mission. Otherwise, heartache, divorce, and perhaps even tragic crime such as involved Pam Smart or Erin McLean.
Legal Pub Editor note: Viper articles can be found at Vicious Divorce: LINK