Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Want to Marry a Rich Man? Dye Your Hair Brown ~ by Blond Bombshell
Men must think women sit around just dreaming of marrying a rich man. Why else would they do research and write stories revealing that 62 percent of billionaires have wives with brown hair. Who cares? Certainly not me! So, am I supposed to dye my hair brown because Microsoft head honcho Bill Gates' wife, Melinda French Gates is a brunette? Sorry, Melinda, you can keep him.
The study goes on to say that only 22% of billionaires wives were blond and only 16% were raven-colored hair. No billionaire was married to a redhead. Like we should panic. Hey girls, before running down to the salon to dye your red roots, why not just accept the fact that you may be stuck with a multi millionaire instead of a billionaire? Believe it or not, this is not the first totally worthless study on the subject. In 2004, Florida State University determined that men prefer long, thick and brown hair on women. Why? Sexist egg heads claim it's biological. Men are "programmed to find a fertile mate"according to Dr. Kelley Kline. (Kline would be more enlightened to state that men are programmed to have sex. Men typically take the path of least Resistance which is the quickest way to satisfy their own selfish desires.)
Kline opines that long, thick hair is a signal that a woman is strong, young and healthy. (Dr. Kline, perhaps by your way of thinking I should neglect to shave my arm pits and legs. Let me give you a hint: the way to attract a man is to show cleavage and interest in him.) This expensive study also thought it prudent to study hair length. Both men and women found long hair to be "overwhelmingly" more attractive than the short or medium-length hair. (Kind of refutes the theory of biological programming to breed when it comes to other women, don't you think doc...) The FSU study concludes that neanderthal pigs consistently prefer brunettes over blondes. "At least in our study, gentlemen do not prefer blondes. They prefer brunettes," Kline told Reuters.
Dr. Kline, who cares? A woman's appearance should be based on her own preference and not based on how to best attract a man. Otherwise, all a woman needs to do to attract a man is to hold up a sign that she is ready, willing and able.