Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Legal Pub Won't Participate in Glorifying the Las Vegas Shooter and Instead Publishes The Difference Between Men and Women by James D.

Sure, Legal Pub was ready to run the story about how six young students were shot in Nevada at a bus stop apparently after a squabble concerning a girl.

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Mojave High School students in northeastern Las Vegas may never be the same. The fight at the school did not appear to be gang or race-related, just plain stupidness! One young man has been arrested and another one is being sought by authorities. Rather than glorify the shooter, Legal Pub instead chooses to publish a piece submitted by James D. of Bloomington, Illinois.

The Difference Between Men and Women by James D.

1.NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2.EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3.MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

4.BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5.ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.

6.CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7.FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8.SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9.MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.

10.DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11.NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12.OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

6 comments:

blond bombshell said...

"Women somehow deteriorate during the night." You have been hanging around the wrong women, James D. Those are what we call cross dressers!


Shell

Anonymous said...

Cute!

L.S.

Ms. Calabaza said...

Thanks for something to make us smile instead of glorifying these thugs. BTW, I totally agree about women going to lunch and pulling out calculators - happens every time!

Anonymous said...

love it

Anonymous said...

Good article and good comparison between men and women.

Anonymous said...

James D. must be a philosopher ahead of his time!