Thursday, April 16, 2009

Blond Bombshell Shares Attraction Common Sense- by Blond Bombshell


Perhaps no one knows more about kissing than me. I have kissed famous actors on set, I have kissed "bad actors" (whom my parents did not approve.) I have kissed those whom I have loved and those whom I was happy to say good bye. I have kissed folks butts to get a head and I have been told to kiss off by directors. So believe me, I am experienced in kissing. So when I share some not scientific advice with you folks, who I have come to love over the years from reading and contributing to this special forum, listen well despite my lack of a Ph.d.. For when it comes to attraction, it is not an exact science that should guide you, it is your heart.


Scientist are trying to say that kissing, biochemical odors, face shape and voice pitch govern whether you are attracted to another. Why recently, Kendra Schmid pontificated why Halle Berry scored very high on an attractiveness scale. After all she has such symmetrical features. Does Kendra even know Halle? The real reason why men find Halle Berry to be attractive is because she is smoking hot. Plain and simple. Halle could smell like yesterday's beer and men would still line up to be near her.

Karl Grammer and Elizabeth Oberzaucher have conducted research on the effect of a human's smell and their perceived attractiveness. (Can you believe folks get paid to sniff t-shirts?) These scientists claim that when women are ovulating, they produce copulins, a scent that attracts men. Come on. It is more basic then that. When women are ovulating, their boobs swell and that stimulates the eyeballs of nearby men. Scientists may pontificate that it is the woman's smell of copulins that boosts the mans testosterone, but they miss the point. It is the attractive swollen boobs that cause a rise in a certain part of a man's anatomy. (Can I get a hell yeah, men?)

The scientists further opine that the woman's smell causes men to secretes androstenone, an odor that repels women who aren't ovulating. Give me a break. Again it is much more simple explanation then that. The ovulation swells the woman's boobs, which cause men to get hot and bothered which causes men to sweat. All are repelled by the sweaty male pigs except for horny ovulating woman looking to get lucky.

Dr. Laura Berman may come closer to the truth when she told Oprah, "We are innately all puppies in heat." Oprah.com: Dr. Berman's better sex. While Dr. Berman claims that the odors reveal the time to produce, I submit that any man who sees Halle Berry at any time during her cycle is up for the opportunity to breed. (Test my theory. Put Halle in a bathing suit inside a glass tube which prevents any of her smell from escaping. Then ask which men in the club want to spend an intimate evening with her. Bingo 99 % positive response. And the 1% are liars!)


Getting past the breeding ramifications, Dr. Berman says too many women complain that they love their partner, but they're not in love with him. (Well, what do you expect? Who is going to be attractive to a sweaty, stinking swine at any time other then a woman who is horny? Crude but true.) When we are horny, Dr. Berman suggests that we want a man who smells like he has good genes (MHC studies). How wrong. When we are horny, women want a man who looks good in and out of his jeans. The rest of the time we want a man who is a good listener and who treats us as an equal.


A few months back I watched a Discovery Channel's program on attraction. They not only considered smell, but also voice pitch. Researchers like Gordon Gallup, Ph.D., claim that women with higher estrogen levels have higher voices and thus are more attractive to men. Men with deeper voices are considered more attractive. (No wonder Lurch was such a sex symbol.) Now here is the most brainiac research conclusions yet. When a man makes a lot of money, a woman will rate him higher on an attractiveness scale than she would that same man with a smaller income. NO KIDDING! So this is how Hugh Heffner and Donald Trump do it. How much in grants did someone pay to discover that rich guys get more action then similarly looking poor guys? Common sense asks us what woman wants to support a dead beat guy of average or below average looks? A good looking dead beat is not a man. He is a toy. And even us trendy women grow tired of our toys.


Now, let's get to the advice. How you tell if you have chemistry with another is by a kiss. A first kiss that makes your toes curl is an indication of attraction. If a first kiss leaves you wanting a second, you have found attraction. Similarly, it does not take an expert to know that "kissing frequency" is a good gage of how successful a relationship is in terms of happiness. Hundreds of thousands of dollars have been spent on such "attraction research." Yet, Blond Bombshell shares her common sense with you for less then the price of a cup of coffee. Keep it real, girls.


Shell

17 comments:

Legal Pub said...

Shell may not be a legal scholar, but she certainly let's it all hang out. No question where she stands on this type of research.

Thanks for your contribution.

Anonymous said...

You get a hell ya from me on the Halle Berry thing.


Bobbie

Anonymous said...

Shell you are an extremist, feminist. But you are spot on once again!

Brenda said...

Yup, gotta say you are right Shell

Ms Calabaza said...

Shell,
that was brilliant and you really have a great sense of humor to boot! Loved it! :~)

Ms Calabaza said...

Bobbie:
TMZ had a picture of Halle Berry on last night (not that I engage in such behavior ~ watching TMZ!) and she did not look so hot!

Anonymous said...

Shell you rock. We need to get you on Jay before he steps down.


M.J.

Anonymous said...

Who would have ever dreamed that Shell could write. Once again girl, showing you are more than just a pretty face!



G.H.

Bertha said...

Shell thanks for hanging out with us...

Bertha

Legal Pub said...

Maybe Oprah will bring Shell on for the rebuttal!

Ms Calabaza said...

LP:

Why would Oprah rebutt? Shell tells the TRUTH! Oprah probably agrees . . .

Anonymous said...

"Perhaps no one knows more about kissing then me."

THAN me. No one know more about kissing than me.

Anonymous said...

"When women are ovulating, their boobs swell and that stimulates the eyeballs of nearby men"

How do these men know that their breasts are bigger? For all a stranger knows, you could have just lost two cup sizes.

Anonymous said...

This is what I come to legal pub for.

Fluff.

Anonymous said...

LOL. Shell, I thought your Fluff was great. Thanks for lightening the news this week and sharing your time. When someone like you is willing to rub elbows with us at the Pub, it makes this place so special.

Anonymous said...

Shell rocks!

When will you be a guest next and will you mention us Legal Pub intellects?

Anonymous said...

Shell you are developing a cult like following!