Wednesday, September 3, 2008
What Is More Scary Then Marriage Itself? Jason and Rachael Storm Wed In Funeral Home? ~by Surfer Dude
To me, weddings are always scary. Frankly, marriage is a nightmare. But I have to admit that I like getting drunk for free at receptions. So, I took the long trip inland to attend a wedding this weekend. It had a cool theme, the beach. Who would have thought that a California groom would travel all the way to the Midwest just to get married in a sand box? The groom faked like he was drowning when posed with the "Do you take this beach babe as your lawfully wedded designated driver?" Yup, engaged dudes amaze me. As strange as that wedding might be, I would have DIED for the opportunity to attend a Michigan wedding that literally exemplified fear of marriage. Jason Storm and his new wife Rachael got married at Jason's office, the local funeral home. Not a bad idea when you consider the potential savings on flowers, corsages and old black suits. The only down side may be the risk of the reception being a bit dead, but that is a chance worth taking.
Jason is the funeral director of Starks and Menchinger Family Funeral Home, so it is unlikely that he will have to kill himself over the next year to pay for the use of the facility. While I didn't attend this "scary" wedding, I have heard that the dinner and dancing was first classand the reception lively. (No stiffs allowed.) Rev. Greg Prather presided over the ceremony. The bride and groom were not haunted by the setting so why should the guests mind? The wedding went off without a hitch and several advantages of the facility came to light. For example, a stone faced corpses is unlikely to object and provide a reason why the happy couple should not wed. Similarly, corpses never gossip about what happened at the bachelor party and they certainly don't show up hung over for the wedding.
Scary? Sure, all marriage is scary. But there were no caskets or corpse in the room but perhaps they were on stand by in the event the wedding party and witnesses failed to show. (The dead have voted for years in Chicago, so why not add witnessing weddings to their resume?)
Best of luck to Jason and Rachael Storm. Hopefully your funeral wedding will not be a death sentence like mine.