Monday, October 8, 2007

Are Kermit the Frog and Opra's Efforts Toward Saving Grasshoppers Really the Correct Answer Ponders Judy


This is a political story with a moral courtesy of Legal Pub contributor, Judy. Time has caused old stories to have new endings.

OLD FABLE:

The ant works hard all summer long, building his house and saving supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and plays the summer away.


Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. However, the grasshopper dies a painful death without food or shelter.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.


The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs, dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and hungry. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, & ABC show film of the shivering grasshopper next to a photo of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be? This poor grasshopper should not be allowed to suffer!

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house and leads protesters in singing, "We shall overcome."

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry tell Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper & calls for an immediate ant tax to punish his unfair share.

The EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactively taxing all Ants & granting aid to all Grasshoppers.

Furthermore, the ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs. Having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, the ant's home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant. The case is tried before a panel of federal judges previously appointed by her husband. The ant loses everything!

The story ends as the grasshopper finishes the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in (formerly the ant's old house) crumbles because of lack of maintenance. The ant dies homeless in the snow.

The grasshopper dies of laziness. The abandoned house is populated by spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE MODERN STORY:

Use insecticide, it is faster!

12 comments:

Legal Pub said...

Good job. Judy

Anonymous said...

Nice punch line!

Ann

Jester. said...

Stick to the legal stories and leave the jokes to us, Judy.

Jester

(Just kidding, good job.)

Anonymous said...

I love it! An oldie but a goodie with a different spin. Basically like my dad taught me:

No worky, no eaty!

But it does not seem to work that way so much anymore.

Study hard, work hard, get up early, and go to bed late because there are millions on welfare depending on you!

L.S.

Jill said...

Seems like the message is that hard work is a waste. Maybe we should all be on the government payroll?


Jill

Anonymous said...

Wonder if the grass hopper would steal a doughnut like Scott Masters apparently did in the story above?


Brenda

King Richard said...

Oh boy, I would have never guessed your punch line. Good show!

King Richard

colleency said...

I was thinking that Kermit the Frog would eat the grasshopper, saving the ant (and future ants) from the inevitable sad spiral into destitution ... Take one for the team, Kermit!

(do frogs eats grasshoppers?!)

colleency said...

I was thinking that Kermit the Frog would eat the grasshopper, saving the ant (and future ants) from the inevitable sad spiral into destitution ... Take one for the team, Kermit!

(do frogs eats grasshoppers?!)

Legal Pub said...

Colleency, the world needs heros likie Kermit, but they are far and few between these days.

Anonymous said...

Judy, your story rocks!

randy said...

Not only was Judy's story good, it spawned a bunch of copy cat stories.

Randy