Sunday, May 6, 2007

Required Exercise

Kobus van Deventer sits on the exercise bike he said robbers glued him to naked in his Johannesburg, South Africa, home
Alan Murdoch-Beeld, AP
Kobus van Deventer sits on the exercise bike he said robbers glued him to nude in his home in Johannesburg, South Africa.

In Johannesburg, South Africa A gang of armed robbers apparently thought their victim was out of shape. So they forced the man to strip naked and then glued him to his exercise bike. They also sealed his lips with more glue. Kobus van Deventer, 50, was left stuck to the bike with super-strong glue for three hours until he was rescued by his girlfriend. While his house was robbed, he did fortunately do the equivalent of a marathon and lost 13 lbs.

South Africa has one of the highest crime rates in the world and not coincidentally one of the fittest countries in the world.,They will host the soccer World Cup in 2010 and athletes around the world are taking note of South Africa's new training methods.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a novell idea. Since America is full of overweight people, we ought to import these type of terrorists. Think about it. Someone breaks into your home and forces you to exercise 3 days a week. Just like a personal trainer.

No, wait,I already have one of these personal terrorists, my wife

Iron Mike

Ms. Calabaza said...

Does anyone know how I can contact this gang? It may be the only way I can get my ol' man to use the $2,000 exercise machine he ordered from watching an infomercial at 3 AM one night. . .

Anonymous said...

I am with you Ms. Calabaza, my lazy hubby has not touched his treadmill or bowflex since a couple weeks after it arrived!

Brenda

Anonymous said...

Hey, if the bandits are scantily clad females, I think we are on to a great marketing idea.



George

Viper said...

Sounds like a great marketing idea? Yea right. That job is about as good as a Beer taster. The A.P. has reported that an alcoholic beer taster has won a law suit against his brewer/employer.

SAO PAULO, Brazil (May 7) - A Brazilian court has ordered local brewer Ambev to pay $49,400 to an alcoholic beer taster who drank more than 3.2 pints of beer each day.

The employee alleged that the company did not provide the health measures needed to keep him from developing alcoholism. For more than a decade, he drank between 16 and 25 small glasses of beer during his eight-hour shifts at the company.

The company alleged the employee was already an alcoholic before becoming a beer taster. However,
Judge Jose Felipe Ledur said the company was still negligent because an alcoholic should never have been made a beer taster.

Anonymous said...

That is another job I am qualified for, beer taster...


Iron Mike

Did You Stop to Think? said...

This stuff is great. Keep it coming. Look forward to hearing your thoughts on the book. Hope to get back here soon.

My favorite all-time crook story is the one where the robber throws a man-hole cover through a window of a jewelry store. He walks in, grabs a bunch of stuff and leaves... falling down the man-hole from which he removed the cover. Freaking hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Serves the bloke right! If you are going to pilfer a jewelry store, at least have the wits to plan your escape route first.

Ole

Ron said...

Legalpubmeister sir, have you posted the story video on David Hasselhof yet? Seems like something you would cover in this space.........also fits with the Viper story. Maybe you could include some of his friends on the beach.

BTW, was that crook story a real story? Those are good reading, that's for sure. Could do a whole segment on them.

Legal Pub said...

Crook story was 100% accurate! David H., I thought about a story but knew that Iron Mike would only want photos of the female life guards.

Anonymous said...

California Surfer Dude said:

I got an even better weight loss plan. A Norwegian was overweight, so his Doctor put him on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at Least 5 pounds."

When the Norwegian returned, he shocked the Doctor by losing 25 POUNDS!

The Doctor said, "You followed my
instructions"?

The Norwegian nodded and said "I'll tell you though, by I thought I was gonna drop dead dat
3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, yust from all dat skippin'!"

Surfer Dude

Anonymous said...

Just don't stuff your face full of junk food. That will help any one lose weight. Now, to all the heifers out their, get a clue. Stop eating so much.

Will from Cleveland

Anonymous said...

We need more crime like this in junk food city!

Peter

Anonymous said...

Maybe I can market this as a service to all the fat slobs who just can't find the time to exercise.


Kevin

Anonymous said...

America needs a crime waive of forced exercise induction!

Linda Lu said...

This crime waive post is still the best one on Legal Pub. Just the thought of us needing more crooks like this to force our overweight population to work off its excess weight brings a smile to my face.

Anonymous said...

ouch

Anonymous said...

I wonder if this was more than just a random hijacking. The victim concerned has been known to take money from unsuspecting clients and then hoofing it. I know this, because I am one of those clients. He stole thousands of Rands (ZAR) from us this year. I understand that we are not the only ones...