Iron Mike's Legal Rules To Live By ~by Iron Mike

As Superbowl Sunday approaches, keep in mind that the number of domestic violence cases drastically increase on game day.   (Workers at women's shelters, and some journalists, have long reported that Super Bowl Sunday is one of the year's worst days for violence against women. While I've never seen any statistics to prove this assertion, domestic violence is a serious issue and any help I can provide in reducing the problem is a win win situation.) My assumption is that the violence occurs because women fail to respect a man's space during the big game. (Although I also acknowledge the remote possibility that violence may be related to the huge amounts of alcohol that are consumed per capita on this glorious day.)

So here's my top rules for avoiding violence during the game:

1.  If asked a question, limiting answers to "yes or no" is strongly encouraged.

2.  If material has sleeves, it is under no circumstances "a blanket."

3.  Keep your "suggestions" to yourself.

4.  If I am foolish enough to ask you what is wrong and you say nothing, then we both stipulate nothings wrong!

5.  When it comes to my eating, I will be the sole judge of what is healthy and what is not healthy.

6.  If you ask me what I want to eat and I say I don't care, it means "I DON"T CARE!"

7.  Stop searching for perfection.  Nothing is perfect in real life except for a baseball game with no runs, no hits and no errors!

8.  When I choose to scratch (where ever I choose) during the game, that's my private choice and is not a subject to be explored with your friends, family or facebook.

Now men, pin these rules up on the refigerator and by the door to where you are going to watch the game. The life you save may be your own.

Editor's note:  Spammers will be hunted down like dogs and billed for advertising!