Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Dad's Gone Wild Or Justifiable Parenting?


It is becoming increasingly more difficult to be a dad. Sometimes doing the right thing is not as clear as perhaps it was a few years ago. We know that a parent can go to far in protecting their child. LINK. A more recent example, a San Jose, California police officer is under investigation after he allegedly handcuffed the 15-year-old boyfriend of his 14 year-old stepdaughter because he allegedly had sex with her. The father was off-duty when he appeared at the teenager's home in full uniform. "A cop's daughter is not somebody you mess around with," the officer allegedly told the teen. (So far apparently a true statement.) Next he allegedly said, "the district attorney will probably file charges." (Apparently not a true statement due to the closeness in age of the alleged perpetrator and the alleged victim. However, both teens may be cited for underage sex according to Mercury News. So, perhaps still true.)


After removing the handcuffs, the officer admitted to the boy's parents that he just wanted to scare the youth. Apparently the incident was recorded by cell phone. San Jose Mercury News.
Attorney Terry Bowman, told local reporters that his client was doing the boy's parents a favor so he "doesn't continue to go down the wrong path." Apparently the boy's parents disagree since they reported the incident to internal affairs. The officer has been put on administrative leave pending the investigation.

Tony Boskovich, an attorney representing the boy's family, questioned, "What right does he have to use his uniform, his gun, his handcuffs if all he is is a dad?" http://www.msnbc.msn.com/. Probably none, Tony. But query, just what is a father to do when he feels his child is being victimized? Certainly not to beat the teen like might have happened in past generations. Nor can a dad apparently use threatening words as illustrated below with James Jones' mistake.


James Jones was the father who went onto a school bus and threatened to hurt the school bullies that were harassing his special needs daughter. After the incident was caught on video, school officials contacted the law enforcement. Jones was arrested. Jones apologized for his actions and admitted it was the wrong thing to do. But this father snapped because, "My daughter is not going to be hazed and beat up and touched on like what they've done, okay." Jones' attorney, Sadiki Alexander, said the father of two was simply trying to protect his child. Jones later went on t.v. and advocated that a better way to handle the problem would have been to work with the school authorities to stop the harassment. While police investigate the alleged 7th grade bullies, are they free to scare them straight or must it be all fluff and pampering?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so glad at least some one acknowledges that it is difficult to be a dad!

Anonymous said...

Any where but California and the matter would have been handled without any one getting in trouble.

Anonymous said...

It would have straightened me out if I were the kid!

Video Guy said...

Was the sex between the 14 yr old girl and 15 yr old boy consensual? If so, the father of the girl has only the right to discipline his daughter, and not let the boy on his property. The actuality that he used his uniform and position of athourity, than used excessive force on the young man is clearly an abuse of power…What makes this cop think he is above the rights of any other parent confronted with the same situation? And I’m sure they are many similar untold stories…I don’t think he should lose his job for this, but should be suspended WITHOUT PAY.

As for the father and the bullies…that is a whole different account as he reported the bullies to the school and they did nothing. I’m with the father on this one as his intentions were not to harm the bullies but when all else failed he took it upon himself to scare the sh*t out of them, a task he succeeded at…I’m sure the little brats were sh*tting their pants when he climbed into the bus.

The fact is, basically you are on your own out there to protect yourself and family, and the police are at hand to take the report later…and they are always sorry, but usually don’t wish to be bothered by the petty disputes that many times lead to more extreme measures. Than everyone wants to persecute the original victim who has usually acted from desperation after all other options have failed.

Anonymous said...

Just plain hard being a dad. In the old days, what both dads did would most likely be seen as trying to scare kids into doing the right thing. Now days, a man has to watch every word he says...

Mr. Noface said...

It is hard being a dad, but this man did cross the line. There are other things to consider, like how this man abused his authority as a police officer. Then you have issues such as false imprisonment and the like. Pretending to arrest a kid like that only works in sitcoms and teen movies.

Anonymous said...

No face: I agree that it is wrong in this day and age to do so. But I disagree that it only works on sit coms. My bet is this scared the sh!t out of this kid and that is exactly why the parents complained. I do bet that it would work.

As for "temporary detention" there was probable cause for underage sex. While that is apparently just a misdemeanor, the lad could have been brought down to the station and photographed...

Brenda said...

Got to keep you men on a short leash!

Anonymous said...

MOre like tied at the neck to the ground if you were married to Nancy Grace. LOL