The Smoking Gun has reported that police in Polk County, Florida have apparently issued an all points bulletin seeking the public's help in capturing two young men suspected of stealing a box of condoms. (Lakeland must be an exciting place to live.) Apparently a Crime Stoppers leaflet was passed out which includes the photo of the two young men one of whom was carrying a box of condoms. The public can anonymously call in and identify the condoms or the perpetrators. (yes, I am calling about the condoms... this weekend my boyfriend pulled out a blue box of condoms... ) Had they read God is a Woman, they would have read Ian's chapter on this subject and stole a box of rubber bands too! Remember Clint Eastwood's advice: "A man has got to know his limitations." A reward may be offered for those who solve this crime. Investigate and have a safe Memorial Day Weekend.
The boys have a defense. If they just fill out the form they may not have commited a crime:
ReplyDeleteTROJAN FREE SAMPLE
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The offer will be available for a limited time. Only one condom per name or address per year. We cannot mail to post office boxes, so please use street addresses only. For this offer, you need to be 18 years of age or older. By continuing, this confirms that you are 18 or older. Offer good only in the USA. Void where prohibited, restricted or taxed. You will receive your sample in 6-8 weeks.
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Blond Bombshell said...
ReplyDeleteIf the boys truly needed magnums, then they should not be hard to pick out in a line up.
Shell
Happy Memorial Day to all. Hug a soldier.
They're probably smarter than me and ordered the rubber bands via Amazon, to avoid being embarrassed. They should be able to find dates pretty easily, eh? I just hope I don't end up in the line up...
ReplyDeleteI would like to get my hands on those boys... literally!
ReplyDeleteJennifer
Stealing condoms,that is bad. But this crime out of Wheaton, Illinois deserves real jail time!
ReplyDeleteA.P. WHEATON, Ill. (May 24) - A judge has ordered a 17-year-old to pay a $750 fine and perform 120 hours of community service for contaminating salad dressing with semen and returning it to a suburban Chicago high school's cafeteria.
DuPage County Judge Terence Sheen also placed Marco Castro on two years probation Wednesday and ordered him to write a letter of apology to Wheaton North High School officials. Castro must complete his community service work for an agency that works with AIDS patients.
Castro pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in connection with the Dec. 6 incident. He admitted taking a bottle of ranch salad dressing from the school cafeteria to the bathroom and ejaculating into it, and then returning it to the cafeteria where juniors and seniors eat lunch.
Students reported Castro, and the senior was expelled from Wheaton North. There were no reported cases of illness following the incident.
Castro told police he thought of the prank after watching a movie filled with crude stunts.
Ralph
Now that is one sick boy!
ReplyDeleteRuth
That wheaton incident is so gross! Now that boy ought to be in the mental hospital.
ReplyDeleteJeff
Speaking of clever theives, in OSLO, Norway a police campaign to crack down on pickpockets was about to begin when the Police Chief Anstein Gjengedal's wallet being snatched by a pickpocket according to the Oslo newspaper Dagbladet.
ReplyDeleteThe police chief was riding an Oslo airport train Monday when some folks jostled him. When he checked a few minutes later, his wallet was gone.
Gjengedal had followed police advice by keeping his wallet in the inner pocket of his jacket. Unfortunately, the thieves stole it anyway.
Darn, that is one brave thief. I wonder if he knew it was the police chief?
ReplyDeleteBrenda
those are big boys...
ReplyDeletePaula
On the part of the women, I sense some envy. And on the part of the men some major jealousy!
ReplyDeleteTo clarify about the reference to God is a Woman, as well as for some I emails I have received since this was posted, here is the condom story Legal Pub refers to, linked here and posted on my own blog, excerpted from the book:
ReplyDeletehttp://didyoustoptothink.blogspot.com/2007/06/too-small-for-job.html
Thanks Mr. Coburn. Now it makes more sense to me.
ReplyDeleteWendall
Did you not used to sell glow in the dark models after your shows?
ReplyDeleteEd
these boys need jumbo trash bags
ReplyDeleteyou are right. a man should know his limitations. excellent
ReplyDelete