Everyone dreams that their wedding night will be memorable. Fortunately, the Vallejo, California police can help any couple accomplish that dream. For you Midwesterners, California can be a great place to get married. It really can. The experience is so pleasant that some of our residents do it several times. My advice is a simple reception at home. Just don't get too out of control or you may wind up like Terese Williams and his new wife. The Williams spent their wedding night in jail. How? Well, according to the dudes in blue, they had to go to the Williams residence twice because the music at their home reception was too loud. When police returned the second time, Williams allegedly removed his shirt and assumed a combative stance like he was going to open up a can of whoop ass on blue clad peace officer. The rather switch then fight officer changed his approach and tasered Williams and his cousin (Johnson.)
Now for the best part, a free honey moon! Williams and his cousin (Johnson) were apparently arrested for resisting arrest while the new bride was also brought down to the station because of suspicion of public intoxication. The news gets even better. Williams may get an extended stay honey moon because he was apparently on parole at the time of the shin dig.
Posts
16 comments:
The fun never stops in California!
Getting married is like wetting your pants. AT first, it is a warm comfortable feeling, but then it gets just plain nasty.
Jester
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Dollar Bill
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Doc
Marriage is no treat for women either, guys:
Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
Shell
Rodney Dangerfield best summed up marriage:
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
(Rodney Dangerfield)
At a party,some one asked me,"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" Honestly, I answered, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
Brenda
During a free divorce consultation, I asked a client:
"Why are you getting a divorce, I thought she was so right for you?"
Client: "I did in fact marry Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always."
I can't top any of these . . . too funny. But yet, we keep doing it (getting married), don't we?
I guess we either don't learn or the alternative is worse.
Marriage is self abuse.
I cant believe they arrested these people for celebrating their nuptials.
And how can they arrest her for public intoxication while she's getting drunk in her own home?
Exciting news, boys. It has been confirmed. Any woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once! While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.
Shell
Iron Mike said...
Shell, If a man is in the forest, and there isn't a woman around, is he still wrong?
Iron Mike
Mike, all you pigs could learn that there are five essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."
Shell
Oh Shell, there has not been a perfect marriage since Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage because he didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
Jerry
IF MEN WERE IN CHARGE OF WEDDINGS...
1. There would be a "Rehearsal Kegger" instead of a "Rehearsal Dinner."
2. Bridesmaids would wear blue jeans cutoffs and halter tops.
3. Any tux would have team logos on the back with matching Nike shoes.
4. Weddings would be scheduled so as not to conflict with basketball and football play-offs.
5. Vows would mention cooking and sex but omit "forsaking all others" part.
6. The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up muscle car or on a Harley!
7. Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.
8. A big, slobbery dog would be "Best Man."
9. There would be "Tailgate Receptions."
10. Outdoor weddings would be held during at half-time or between innings.
Invitations would read: Tom is getting hitched to the ol' ball and chain on Saturday. Either he:
A) knocked her up; B) couldn't get a different roommate; or C) caved in to her ultimatum.
Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him for the rest of his life at Texas Stadium On the 50 Yard Line at half-time during Saturday's game. Please join us at the Clubhouse after the game For beer, nachos and pizza. BYOB.
Liesel
Liesel, you are one red neck girl!
Post a Comment