Swollen Faced Stallone Pleads Guilty

Lawyers for the 60-year-old star "Rocky" aka "Rambo" plead guilty in Australian Court on charges of bringing banned Growth Hormone into Australia. "I made a terrible mistake, not because I was attempting to deceive anyone but I was simply ignorant to your official rules. I feel terrible that my breach of the rules has set a poor example to members of the public, whose opinion I cherish dearly." A customs search of his luggage during a Feb. 16 visit to Sydney revealed 48 vials of the human growth hormone (Jintropin.) Stallone threw four vials of the hormone testosterone from his Sydney hotel room four days later when customs officials search it.

Human growth hormone is used to build muscle mass and is considered a performance enhancing drug. The maximum penalty is a fine of $91,500 and five years in prison, but Stallone faces a maximum penalty of just $18,000 on each of the two charges because the matter is being heard by a local, not federal, court. Stallone's lawyer Phillip Boulten said the actor should be spared a criminal conviction, saying Stallone took the hormones for medical reasons. Boulten said Stallone was taking both substances under medical supervision. "This is not some back-alley body builder dealing covertly with some banned substance in some sort of secret way," he said. "This was a legitimate medical condition being treated by doctors of the top ranking order in the west coast of the United States."

Blatant Malpractice

A misdiagnosed man spent his life savings because his doctor told him that he was dieing. According to the AP, he was told he had only a few months to live. Now he is seeking compensation after doctors conceded they misdiagnosised his problem. John Brandrick, 62, was told two years ago that he had terminal pancreatic cancer. He then spent his remaining time in style. He quit his job and spent his savings on hotels, restaurants and holidays. A year later, doctors at the Royal Cornwall Hospital in England revised their diagnosis to pancreatitis, a nonfatal ailment. " I got rid of everything - my car, my clothes, everything."

Update 5-17: If a man wrongfully imprisoned gets Five million dollars, what should this poor man sentenced to death by his doctor get? The Connecticut legislature voted unanimously Wednesday to give $5 million to a man imprisoned for more than 18 years for a rape he didn't commit. Moved by James C. Tillman 's humbleness and lack of bitterness, lawmakers hoped the money will let him live the rest of his life in relative comfort. Tillman was 26 when he was sentenced to 45 years in prison after being convicted of raping a woman in Hartford in 1988. The victim identified him, but Tillman was exonerated after DNA tests showed he could not have been the attacker. Tillman believes the $5 million is fair compensation.

Life is Short! Get a Divorce!

A Chicago Lawyer is raising scrutiny with his Billboard. It states: Life is Short! Get Divorced! Is this ethical?

Update 5-11: In light of recent statistics showing a decline in the divorce rate, perhaps it is necessary marketing!

Despite claims that America is plagued by a divorce epidemic, the national per capita divorce rate has declined since its peak in 1981. It is now at its lowest level since 1970. The divorce rate peaked at 5.3 divorces per 1,000 people in 1981, but since then it's dropped to 3.6. But scholars can't decide whether the trend is grounds for celebration. Some say divorces are down primarily because more couples live together without marrying. America's divorce rate began climbing in the late 1960s and skyrocketed during the '70s and early '80s. The number of couples who live together without marrying has increased tenfold since 1960. The marriage rate has dropped by nearly 30 percent in past 25 years. Americans are waiting about five years longer to marry than they did in 1970.

Required Exercise

Alan Murdoch-Beeld, AP

Kobus van Deventer sits on the exercise bike he said robbers glued him to nude in his home in Johannesburg, South Africa.

In Johannesburg, South Africa A gang of armed robbers apparently thought their victim was out of shape. So they forced the man to strip naked and then glued him to his exercise bike. They also sealed his lips with more glue. Kobus van Deventer, 50, was left stuck to the bike with super-strong glue for three hours until he was rescued by his girlfriend. While his house was robbed, he did fortunately do the equivalent of a marathon and lost 13 lbs.

South Africa has one of the highest crime rates in the world and not coincidentally one of the fittest countries in the world.,They will host the soccer World Cup in 2010 and athletes around the world are taking note of South Africa's new training methods.

Beauty and the Court

Now that we have explored the flaws of at least one court (the cleaners hating judge from D.C.) it is time to turn back to beauty. Once again Paris Hilton honors our presence by making news. She looks great in a suit and quite frankly has more in court time than 90% of the L.A. Bar Association.

Court documents reveal that Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 Days in Jail. The beautiful heiress is to report to jail on June 5. Interestingly enough, Paris has worked as a farmer and maid on her TV show "The Simple Life." Now her latest role will be working on the penal farm. I just can't help but think she is a natural for Boston Legal.

Hilton has become infamous for her name and relentless partying. Ironically, she was sentenced Friday to 45 days in county jail for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. As an inmate, she may have to get adjusted to staying in a cell smaller than her closet.

Paris is quoted in court transcripts as saying "I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything. I'm sorry and I did not do it on purpose at all."For those interested in hookin up with Paris, Hilton report to a women's jail in suburban Lynwood by June 5. The judge did not allow any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail.

Legal Publication gives a special welcome to a well known comedian and author. Ian, feel free to introduce yourself and tell the folks about your recent book. Neil Strauss use to talk about Courtney Love and Paris Hilton. I would not be surprised if you don't have a story or two. Feel free to share anything that is not confidential. Again Welcome.

Frivoulous Law Suit?

Judge Sues Cleaner for $65 Million Over Pants
LUBNA TAKRURI of the AP is reporting a bizarre lawsuit against a judge's local Dry cleaner.
The Chungs, immigrants from South Korea, opened their dry-cleaning business seven years ago in the nation's capital. For the past two years, they've been defending a $65 million lawsuit over a pair of missing pants.
Jin Nam Chung, Ki Chung and their son, Soo Chung, are disenchanted with the system. "This has destroyed their lives." A District of Columbia administrative hearings judge, Roy Pearson, filed the suit Pro Se. According to court documents, in May 2005, Pearson brought several suits for alteration to Custom Cleaners in Northeast Washington. A pair of pants from one suit was not ready when he requested it and was deemed to be "missing."

Pearson asked the cleaners for the full price of the suit($1,000.) But a week later, the Chungs found the pants and refused to pay. Pearson then decided to sue. The cleaners has apparently made three settlement offers to Pearson($3,000, $4,600, and then $12,000.) But Pearson rejected their offer.

Because Pearson no longer wanted to use his neighborhood dry cleaner, he requests $15,000 -- the price to rent a car every weekend for 10 years to drive to another cleaner. The rest of the $65 million comes from Pearson's interpretation of D.C.'s consumer protection law, which fines violators $1,500 per violation, per day. Pearson added up 12 violations over 1,200 days, and then multiplied that by three defendants. Custom Cleaners once had on its walls: "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service." Peason claims the signs amount to fraud. D.C. Superior Court Judge Neal Kravitz, will hear the June 11 trial.

Update 6-25-07: The dry cleaner not only won the suit, but Pearson has also been ordered to pay the defendant's legal costs. Justice Lives!

License to Kill?

Supreme Court Backs Police in Chase Case
Rules Against Teen Paralyzed After Car Was Run Off Road
By MARK SHERMAN AP WASHINGTON (May 1)

- Police may use tactics that put fleeing suspects at risk of death to end high-speed car chases, the Supreme Court said Monday in ruling against a Georgia teenager who was paralyzed after his car was run off the road by a squad car. The Court said it is reasonable for law enforcement officers to stop a fleeing motorist to prevent harm to bystanders or other drivers. "A police officer's attempt to terminate a dangerous high-speed car chase that threatens the lives of innocent bystanders does not violate the Fourth Amendment, even when it places the fleeing motorist at risk of serious injury or death."

The 19-year-old driver of the Cadillac, lost control and was rendered a quadriplegic. Harris was wanted only for speeding.